There's more to life than seminary...

Well,

          At times I honestly never thought this day would come.  I've been going to school at Asbury Seminary for my M.Div since last fall, and this second semester has to have been one of my more difficult ones as a college/graduate student.
          Trying to figure out how to do homework with two kids has proved to be more challenging than I thought, and it's forced me to plan my time much better than I used to.  Of course, I still have had to stay up until 11 or midnight to get stuff in. But I learned that with a little planning, and working on it a little bit at a time, I wasn't as stressed, and was more productive in the time that I did spend on it. Of course, by the time I got the hang of it, it was the last week of the semester. But now I know what to do in a few weeks for my summer NT Greek class.
          Of course, my daughter, Abbey's autism also played a factor.  When she was having her "extra autistic" days, it made it more difficult to get stuff done. Between not sleeping well, the autistic fits, the screaming, and hitting her 5 month old little sister, there were days when I got nothing done at all.
          But now, I breathe a sigh of relief, because I turned my final assignment of the semester in last night.  I've designated today an official "day of rest," and Steph and I have nicknamed it the: "day of awesomeness." We're going out to wander around the mall later, probably go out to dinner, and then see the Avengers, which we've been waiting to see for weeks. I've heard some mixed reviews, so we'll see, but I'm hopeful.
          In sum, I feel very blessed that I have the ability to go to seminary, and I have learned a lot, but I'm also grateful for time off, too. I think I'm finally beginning to understand what Paul meant when he said: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

Grace and Peace,

Nick

Abbey's Autism and my reflection

So I know it's been a while since I've written on here (I seem to start all my entries that way, haha), but here goes.

For those who are not aware, my two year old daughter, Abbey, was diagnosed with Autism last fall. We have been working through our local school district with an Autism specialist, and various other specialists (all behavioral therapy) to help her engage and talk more. We have seen great success, and Abbey has come a long way since her initial diagnosis, and my wife and I have been optimistic as to what her future holds, but we were given a bit of a reality check today.

The last few days have been especially trying in the Scutari household. We have seen Abbey's Autism really come out, more so than usual. And I'm not talking small little meltdowns like we have to overcome every so often. I'm talking crying for a half an hour at bedtime because she's exhausted, or being overstimulated at Wal Mart and refusing to be touched or comforted.

For those of you who are parents out there understand being able to provide comfort to your children when they upset. For Steph and I, when Abbey gets overstimulated, she wants nothing to do with us, to the point where she will cry and scream louder and push us away if we try. These last few days, specifically, almost every night Abbey has been so tired she has had to cry herself to sleep, while Steph and I sit idly by and have to watch it, unable to bring comfort to our little girl. Since overstimulation is a sympton of Autism, Abbey has lately taken to wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses everywhere, to help block some of it out.

So the Autism specialist (who has been awesome to work with) was over today, and mentioned to Steph that as Autistic kids get older, their sensory issues (over stimulation from noises/lights/people around them) get worse. Maybe it was wishful thinking, perhaps we were just hoping for the best for our little girl, but either way, those dreams were dashed today when Steph found that out. It serves as a painful reminder of Abbey's reality, and always brings me back to reflection.

I never imagined in a million years that this would happen to my family and I, but, here we are, nonetheless. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, and yet, I know that sometimes there is literally nothing I can do that will help.

So, we simply take things as they come- one day at a time, hoping and praying for the best, asking that God would grant us patience, and comfort for Abbey.
I am now thoroughly convinced that God's love is deeper and more profound that I ever could have imagined. We have been blessed by our daughter, and while it can be trying at times, we love her all the same.

T minus 12 days...

For whatever reason, it just dawned on me that I start my fall semester at Asbury Seminary in 12 days, and, upon further reflection realized that the "summer of freedom" I was so looking forward to is rather rapidly being put behind me.

It seems that the older I get, the faster time goes by. Being the ripe old age of 24 (25 in a few weeks), this might be strange for me to say, but I can remember throughout my childhood that elementary school years seemed to last forever. Perhaps it was because I had a lot less responsibility than I do now, but my sneaking suspicion is that I have forgotten how to "seize the day."

I am reminded of Jesus' words in Matthew 6:34- "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

In its larger context, this entire passage (6:25-34) is Christ addressing the same people who went up to hear him on the mountain in the Beatitudes in Chapter 5, and he is commanding them to seek first the Kingdom of God, and all the earthly stuff will get worked out.

But even in light of this text, I would venture to say that us working-type-people far too often tend to drift from one activity to another, and end up getting caught up in the mundane things of life, allowing the familiar rhythm of our days to make us comfortable with where we are, and letting time pass us by.

I'm not suggesting that we should drastically change our schedules so that every day is different (which is ridiculous), but re-frame our thinking about how we live our lives. What if we looked at everything as an opportunity to to love or serve someone else? What if I saw doing the dishes as serving my wife, or changing my daughter's diaper as serving her (because she LITERALLY) can't do it for herself?

As a Methodist, I have come across this simple phrase, and I love it because it speaks to the heart of what it means to be a Methodist: "Love God with a warmed heart, serve God with active hands."

If we approach the activities of our day as a means of loving and serving others, whether it is our wives or husbands, daughters or sons, friends or family, co-workers or complete strangers, I think we would find that our days would "spring to life," and we would, rather rapidly I think, find that time is not passing us by, because we are directly influencing the people around us, for the sake of love.